I'm A Baby

I’m a baby. I’m learning how to stand. It’s a big deal for me.

I appreciate your support, but please don’t insist on wiping my face at the first sign of drool or snot. I realize it would bother you if it were all over your face, but – honestly – I don’t mind it that much. So, when I’m using all my strength and negligible coordination to pull myself up onto the coffee table, please don’t swoop in with a wipe and drag it across my little face. Perhaps you’ve noticed that I cry out in protest, EVERY SINGLE TIME you do this. It’s just a little fluid, that’s all. If you really believe it bothers me, how do you suppose I can tolerate a squishy poop spreading itself all over my bottom (and sometimes up my back), until you get around to changing my diaper? If I’m going to wallow in my own poop for that long, you should know that I couldn’t care less about a little dribble. So, the next time you reach for that millionth wad of unwelcome tissue or scratchy wash cloth, consider my priorities for a change.

Thanks,

Your baby :-)