Keep Joy In Your Heart

I once knew an old man named Norris.  He signed every letter and card that he wrote with the same words:  Keep joy in your heart.

It's a simple saying, easy to remember - almost obvious.  But I always just equated it to Norris and his gentle-old-man ways.  I didn't apply it to the world as a whole, I just attached it to him and how I thought of him -  and, eventually, how I remembered him.

He passed away some time ago, and I find the phrase popping into my mind now and again.

Recently I received some very sad news about the untimely death of a loving woman who taught both of our daughters.  We weren't exceptionally close, but she was with our little girls in preschool for at least 3 days a week.  She was a significant, caring adult in their lives.

It's natural to be drawn into the sorrowful aspects of these tragic situations.  And it's times like these when it's not easy to keep joy in your heart.

So how does one do it, when its so easy to be burdened by something or other - the constant availability of bad news?

I know one way.  Spend time with a child.  They're not weighed down by regret or fear.  They're not suspicious or disappointed.  They're in tune with the magic of being alive. They have joy in their hearts.

My friend Norris knew enough to remind himself and those around him, as we grew older.  Whatever you're doing, whatever happens - Keep joy in your heart...

Some Days... You Don't Get To Think (and thank goodness for that!)

Most of my time today has been spent working on a fort and doing laundry.  The lamp and CD player only got knocked down twice, but that was far overshadowed by the general screaming and banging that's accompanied the goings on around here.  I keep trying to sit down and write something or read something - one thing!

Some days you just leap from one rock to the next, trying not to drop whatever you're holding.  You don't get to sit down, and you don't get to think.  But, you get kids - living the moment, and suffering no thoughts of the past or future.

...Drink from that fountain for a long as it lasts  (then hopefully you can survive on that until the grandchildren arrive).  :-)

A Room For Toys

Visitor:  What's this room for?
Owner:  This is the playroom.  We keep all the children's toys in here.
Visitor:  So they only play in here?
Owner:  No, they can play pretty much anywhere
Visitor:  But the toys have to stay in there?
Owner:  No, they can take the toys out.
Visitor:  But then they bring them back here.
Owner:  Yes.
Visitor:  So, they can't put them in their room?
Owner:  They could.
Visitor:  But they don't keep them in there.
Owner:  No, this room is for their toys.
Visitor:  But they each have their own room?
Owner:  Yes.  They sleep in their bedrooms,
Visitor:  But they could keep the toys in the closet.
Owner:  That's where their clothes are.
Visitor:  So, you just like to keep their toys in the one room?
Owner:  Yes.  It's organized that way.
Visitor:  What are you going to do when they don't play with the toys anymore?
Owner:  Probably turn this into a craft room...   or maybe scrapbooking...
Visitor:  Can I live here?
Owner:  I don't understand.

The Truth is Still Out There...But Can We See It?

We're always saying "Don't judge a book by its cover" - But, let's be honest.  Nobody has that kind of time.  Even people with time on their hands don't have time to conduct a thorough examination before choosing a book.  Or a meal, or a friend for that matter.  If someone recommends a book, or a meal or a friend, that's fine.  That fits into our busy schedule.  Otherwise, we're going with first impressions.  We're judging books, meals, friends, and everything else, by how they look.  I'm taking a risk here and saying that people with less than  perfect vision have a clear advantage;  the less perfect, the bigger the advantage.

Does it make me a bad person, judging things by the way they appear?  The answer is, yes - sometimes.  Basically, I'm just too damn dependent on my eyesight.  I'm imagining a market for glasses that make things look soft, blurry, fuzzy, hazy, jagged.  Maybe they could help us treat one another more gently at the outset...

Your Kids Know Better Than You

Thinking about the future?  Your kids aren't.  No sir, no wasting time on  stuff that doesn't exist yet. They are working hard on right now.  So what if that work involves running back and forth from the living room to the kitchen screaming "Don't punch my butt!"  The point is they know how to keep busy with whatever is happening right around them.

I think this is a form of wisdom.  Maybe it's also a form of survival.  They don't need to be globally connected.  They're plugged into the moment.

A nice thing is, that if you're there with them, you too can benefit from their wisdom.  I highly recommend this.  Get sucked into games with young children.  That is the real world for them, and they're happy to have you join them there.

There's nothing like it.  And it's that feeling that makes me sad, when I think about my kids growing up and unplugging from the magic and beauty of this present moment.

Give Them What They Want

This is for those of us who struggle daily with the desire to give our children whatever they want, even though they don't always deserve it, and even though they won't be duly grateful.  We're screwed, we're stuck - because this isn't going away.

We know they must learn patience, humility, cooperation, ...reality.  But sometimes we just want to give them stuff.  We are hip to the dangers of instant gratification.  We understand that, as adults, they will have to pick and choose among that which is available to to them.  Why is it, then, that we can have such a hard time resisting the urge to just say "Here." - "Here you go.  Take it.  You can have it."?

I decided to take it easy on myself and not feel guilty whenever I do give in and give my kids the thing they haven't earned or don't necessarily deserve.

I'll try to be wise and mature and hold back the constant urge to make them happy.  But sometimes, I'm just going to give them what they want.  After all, I can use a little instant gratification myself once in a while.  :-)

The Most Selfish

Having a child is the closest you can come to owning another person.  It's the most selfish thing you could possibly do - And there is nothing more wonderful or fulfilling.