A Room For Toys

Visitor:  What's this room for?
Owner:  This is the playroom.  We keep all the children's toys in here.
Visitor:  So they only play in here?
Owner:  No, they can play pretty much anywhere
Visitor:  But the toys have to stay in there?
Owner:  No, they can take the toys out.
Visitor:  But then they bring them back here.
Owner:  Yes.
Visitor:  So, they can't put them in their room?
Owner:  They could.
Visitor:  But they don't keep them in there.
Owner:  No, this room is for their toys.
Visitor:  But they each have their own room?
Owner:  Yes.  They sleep in their bedrooms,
Visitor:  But they could keep the toys in the closet.
Owner:  That's where their clothes are.
Visitor:  So, you just like to keep their toys in the one room?
Owner:  Yes.  It's organized that way.
Visitor:  What are you going to do when they don't play with the toys anymore?
Owner:  Probably turn this into a craft room...   or maybe scrapbooking...
Visitor:  Can I live here?
Owner:  I don't understand.

The Truth is Still Out There...But Can We See It?

We're always saying "Don't judge a book by its cover" - But, let's be honest.  Nobody has that kind of time.  Even people with time on their hands don't have time to conduct a thorough examination before choosing a book.  Or a meal, or a friend for that matter.  If someone recommends a book, or a meal or a friend, that's fine.  That fits into our busy schedule.  Otherwise, we're going with first impressions.  We're judging books, meals, friends, and everything else, by how they look.  I'm taking a risk here and saying that people with less than  perfect vision have a clear advantage;  the less perfect, the bigger the advantage.

Does it make me a bad person, judging things by the way they appear?  The answer is, yes - sometimes.  Basically, I'm just too damn dependent on my eyesight.  I'm imagining a market for glasses that make things look soft, blurry, fuzzy, hazy, jagged.  Maybe they could help us treat one another more gently at the outset...

Your Kids Know Better Than You

Thinking about the future?  Your kids aren't.  No sir, no wasting time on  stuff that doesn't exist yet. They are working hard on right now.  So what if that work involves running back and forth from the living room to the kitchen screaming "Don't punch my butt!"  The point is they know how to keep busy with whatever is happening right around them.

I think this is a form of wisdom.  Maybe it's also a form of survival.  They don't need to be globally connected.  They're plugged into the moment.

A nice thing is, that if you're there with them, you too can benefit from their wisdom.  I highly recommend this.  Get sucked into games with young children.  That is the real world for them, and they're happy to have you join them there.

There's nothing like it.  And it's that feeling that makes me sad, when I think about my kids growing up and unplugging from the magic and beauty of this present moment.

Give Them What They Want

This is for those of us who struggle daily with the desire to give our children whatever they want, even though they don't always deserve it, and even though they won't be duly grateful.  We're screwed, we're stuck - because this isn't going away.

We know they must learn patience, humility, cooperation, ...reality.  But sometimes we just want to give them stuff.  We are hip to the dangers of instant gratification.  We understand that, as adults, they will have to pick and choose among that which is available to to them.  Why is it, then, that we can have such a hard time resisting the urge to just say "Here." - "Here you go.  Take it.  You can have it."?

I decided to take it easy on myself and not feel guilty whenever I do give in and give my kids the thing they haven't earned or don't necessarily deserve.

I'll try to be wise and mature and hold back the constant urge to make them happy.  But sometimes, I'm just going to give them what they want.  After all, I can use a little instant gratification myself once in a while.  :-)

The Most Selfish

Having a child is the closest you can come to owning another person.  It's the most selfish thing you could possibly do - And there is nothing more wonderful or fulfilling.

What Does It Mean To Forge A Path?

All true progress must be improvisation by nature.  It's impossible to get to a new place by following an old  path.

Sometimes Love is Gross - Got a Problem With That?

If there's one thing I've learned as a 49 year-old dad, it's that your children don't believe in wear and tear.   They'll do everything in their power to wear you down physically and mentally (and that's without even trying!).

I've been forty-nine for just about one whole day, so far.  Luckily only two of my three children are sick with strep and rashes and buckets of phlegm, and the rest of us are a single snot-face away from pure exhaustion.  I know you don't want to hear about this stuff, so I'll continue...

By the way,  there are actually more things that I've learned...  I now know that it's perfectly fine to walk around with the crusty remains of god-knows-what on your sleeve, especially when you have more children than you have arms.  Also, once you've achieved a certain level of intimacy while caring for a baby as they grow into a child, things that once seemed gross don't even make you flinch.

"Your daughter just smeared snot all over your pants."  That's okay.  "There's vomit on you, honey."  So what.  "There's a wet spot on your shirt."  Who cares.  "You smell like poop." And?    - Seriously, I'm not exaggerating.

The truth is - when you love someone this much - they could literally hand you a mouth-full of slimy, chewed-up food (it's happened more times than I can count), and you'd accept it the same way you would if it were a handful of change at the checkout counter.

Love may stink - but if it's yours, you'll walk around with it on you all day.