Stop Pushing My Face

Why do babies like to push on your face? How do they know that it is such a clear and effective way to communicate? Imagine saying anything to anyone and suddenly your face is shoved to one side or another. You stop talking, don't you? I like to think of it as another way that a child takes ownership of the parent. The child knows that the parent belongs to her or him and so the child is free to do whatever is in their power to effect change in behavior. Granted, there isn't much a child can do, especially one whose age is still calculated in months. But when that little arm reaches out and those little fingers poke into your cheek as your head is forced to one side, you do exactly what they want. You stop talking or singing or whatever the hell you're doing, because that's basically what your child just told you to do. Stop.

I can't talk yet, but I know how important your face is in the communication process. So if I can manage to push hard on your face and move it so it's not facing me anymore, you'll probably get the message that I want you to stop doing whatever that is that you're doing. And If you start up again, I'll just shove your face again. I can keep this up as long as I need to. You'll get the idea eventually. Also, I pooped in my diaper, and it stinks. No hurry though, it doesn't really bother me.

Gator-Head Wind Chimes

I spotted a billboard along I-95 on my way home from work that boasted 'Gator-Head Wind Chimes'. It was for a tourist/souvenier/truckstop place along the highway. I immediately began to take mental stock of my supply of gator-head wind chimes, in order to decide if I needed to swing in and pick some up. It occurred to me that i have no gator-head wind chimes, so I considered further. I like wind. I appreciate chimes. I enjoy wind chimes as a rule. I like gators - including their heads. I'm not so keen on the head, once it's been separated from the gator's body. Then i thought: This was someone's idea? I suppose they thought - "These are some mighty cute little gators. If I catch them, I can cut their heads off, dry them out and schelaque them. Then I'll tie them up on a string so they can clank together in the wind and it will be a dandy thing to hang on someone's front porch and listen to all them gator heads smacking together in the wind." Is this considered a good idea? How many of the ideas out there are equivalent to this? Are there actually exhausted vacationers whose minds are so numb that they see GATOR-HEAD WIND CHIMES, and obediently exit to pick some up? I'm sure the gator community is not thrilled about this. Also, whatever happened to the old reliable oranges, sea shells and sharks teeth? Meanwhile, when you're puttering around inside your house, and the wind dances past your porch, please enjoy the calming clatter of tiny, dead, severed alligator heads knocking together in the breeze. Evenin' neighbor ;-)